Dum dum da-dum. Da dum da-dum...

I know I'm a pretty lame blogger...it takes an average of 2 weeks to get around to posts that really only require a few minutes but yes, I am indeed engaged to Josh Stavros. :)

The Story!!

*important information pertinent to the story*

When I came home from Jackson Hole a little over a year ago, Josh invited me to his apartment for some dinner and a long-awaited Lord of the Rings marathon which proved to be an endearing, geeky bond between us. That being said, we watch a lot of movies together. It's kind of our thing most days.

So I'd been waiting for the proposal for many weeks and was really feeling my natural impatience get the best of me, so when Josh took me out on a planned date on Monday, Dec 7th, I thought for sure this was it! I got all dolled up and was on my very best behavior. I tried not to think about it during dinner and through the movie, but by the time it got late enough to part ways, the painful sinking feeling began to settle in and it was all I could do not to cry.
Wednesday, Dec 9th was a rough day for me. I was tired, achy, and cranky from working the 7am-3pm shift and all I wanted to do was be home and be comfy! Josh wanted to be at his house (which only made me more cranky) but conceded and came over. I demanded Elf and when we went to watch it we discovered, to my deep disappointment, that my roommate had taken her dvd player out of the living room. I was so over that day that I just gave in and went with Josh to his house, where he talked me into watching our favorite show, How I Met Your Mother. At the end of the episode, instead of minimizing, the screen slipped right into the last scene of Garden State, as if it had just recorded over the movie. I was confused, but interested so we just watched. Turns out the end scene of Garden State bears a striking resemblance to the week Josh and I broke up and got back together so I felt very emotional while watching it but I was quickly cheered by a tender clip from Lord of the Rings. Before I knew it we had watched 15 minutes of clips from our favorite romantic movies, interspersed with comments from me like, "I love this movie!" and "I wonder who put this on TV. This is so cool!" On the second-to-last clip I thought, "I love all these movies! It's so awesome that Josh likes love stories...wait. These are all our favorite movies...oh my gosh..." By then the Montage was over and Josh was on his knee. He said "the best way I know to express myself is through movies..." and some other tender words :).

Being engaged has been a whirlwind of highs and lows, but it's really been great. Josh has been an unusual groom-to-be by being very involved in all the planning and we've been blessed with a lot of support.

I feel so grateful for my life right now. I'm getting married! I get to be with Josh forever. It feels surreal and exciting and stressful. Some days it's coming way too fast, but I usually feel like it can't get here fast enough!

So Blessed!

Such a busy, crazy, wonderful week!!
To work chronologically...

Thanksgiving was absolutely wonderful!! I had a blast with Josh's family. I felt pretty cool to be honored to actually touch the roast beast, let alone help prepare it! And that wasn't even the most exciting part! The thought had never occurred to me to make my own cranberry sauce. Every Thanksgiving in my childhood was happily marked by the fun privilege of opening the cans of jellied and whole-berry cranberry sauce and plopping them out on the plate and carefully slicing and arranging them on a platter.
***Note: I have never loved Thanksgiving food. I'm picky about Turkey and gravy, I eat potatoes sparingly, stuffing is meant for the day-after sandwich, and I think yams are dolled-up baby food. The cranberry sauce is what gets me to the table so the ritual was an important part of the day for me.***
There was to be none of that at the Stavros house! I made my own cranberry sauce! Two kinds, in fact. One was a yummy, pungent, cooked variety and the other more of a tangy, fresh relish. I was in Heaven! Most of my day was spent with Josh's mom and aunt (Bobbe and Anita, respectively) cooking and preparing the enormous feast and I couldn't have been happier. They were so kind about letting me do the fun parts and not just the lame parts of cooking a meal. I've never had so much fun in the kitchen.
The meal was wonderful, I wish I had taken pictures to post because it was as beautiful as it was delicious. And yes. The sweet potatoes rocked my Turkey-Day world. I've been converted! We spent the rest of the day hanging out, talking, reading, watching movies, and playing video games (Josh. Not me.). It was totally relaxed and fun and I loved it!

Black Friday was something my family just didn't do. We usually use that day to rest from Thanksgiving as it is quite a to-do at my house. But Bobbe and Anita just wouldn't take no for an answer so I woke up at 3:15 to go fight for my right to shop and it was so much fun!! I mean it was chaotic and a little scary, but there seemed to be a kind of camaraderie between all the women crazy enough to stand in the cold for an hour just to nab the perfect gift for a loved one. It helped that we got a wicked system down: as soon as we got into the store, I jumped right in line while they scurried all over the store gathering the items we had carefully scouted from the ads and organized on a complex list the night before. When Bobbe and Anita had found everything we needed, I was at the front of the line, ready to check out and move on to the next stop. It was a lovely system and we covered a lot of ground! It was an exhausting, but wholly unforgettable morning!

After what happened with my 12-year old attacker, needless to say I was not excited to go to back to work on Saturday. Sure enough, she was awful! She waged psychological war on me for four days straight! I had such a hard time not taking it personal. She took every hit she possibly could without any concrete reason. To make things worse, she figured out how to split staff, which is ultimate victory for a student! She did this by only complying with requests made by staff she liked, and either ignoring or becoming violent with staff she disliked. Because no one wanted to fight with her, she got to pick her staff, got whatever she wanted in a tantrum, and was allowed to say horrible things about me in my presence to staff and other girls. She had complete control of the entire house and I was her target of choice. It was hell.
She was finally put on isolation after attacking another student so she had to be alone with only a staff to be with her at all times. This meant staff just had to take turns being with her. I obviously couldn't help my team out by doing this, so I felt even worse about the situation.
By Wednesday I'd had it! I finally got her to talk to me and asked her why she wouldn't behave with me down there with her. She eventually told me it was my attitude and how I "shake my hips at her" when I tell her to do/not do something. Yeah. It's as ridiculous as it sounds. I told her I would reflect on the feedback and she said, "okay, you can be with me. Want to play cards?" And the conflict was over! As random and bipolar as it sounds, I'm just happy it's over! I like going to work again!

That same day I received a harrowing call from my dad telling me that my little brother, Chad, was lost on Mt. Timpanogas and had been since 4:00am that morning. My world stopped! I love my brother so much and I can't imagine life without him. I've never prayed so hard! I asked friends and family to join me in prayer for his safety. I tried to keep it together but I was a mess! I just kept thinking about him huddled in the snow, quickly running out of food and water, trying to get his bearings on a merciless mountain. It was hard for me because I love that mountain. I've hiked it several times and am continually in awe of the protective serenity it casts over Utah Valley. All of a sudden it was the enemy, holding my brother captive, and my love for it's peaks became bittersweet. My heart leaped for joy and gratitude when my dad's call finally came, telling me that although Search and Rescue had failed to find him, my surprisingly hardy brother had found his own way out. He was safe! My girls at Sunrise all cheered when they heard and I thanked the Lord for blessing my family and answering our prayers.
Chad said when he saw my dad that he had run out of personal energy hours before and it was by some other, unseen power that he had the strength to make it out. I fully understand the danger he was in, and my heart is full of humility and gratitude to the Lord for leading him to safety. He taught me and my family many lessons that day.

I feel so incredibly blessed! The Lord has truly been looking out for me and I feel so humbled. I am surrounded by people who love me. My family is safe and healthy, though not without their own personal trials. I have a great job where I get to help young women reach for a better life. I'm in love with a man who loves me dearly. And I have the power of personal communication with deity in my life. I am truly blessed.